The Ups and Downs Of Gay Love
by boyxboylover1994
Summary: James, and Kendall are in love, but James's mom is destined to keep them apart. Summary sucks! Go read the story! Angst! Kames/Cargan. Boy/Boy smut scenes! Don't like don't read!
1. I think I'm falling for you

**A/N: Hi guys!For all of you that read the old version of this story I decided to go about this story a different way! Thankfully I have a million ideas how to finish now! So chapters will be semi familiar, but just bare with me. New readers you have no clue what Im talking about haha. Just read! :D I really like this chapter! I hope everyone else does too. Reviews make me update faster! *hint hint* So, please R&R!**

**Please enjoy!**

**I do not own any of these characters!**

"James! Hurry up! You've been in there for two hours already! I really need to use the bathroom," Kendall yelled loudly.

A loud sigh came from the other side of the door.

James pushed the door open slightly and said, "Come in."

He was holding his favorite straightener in one hand and with the other he was holding on to the towel that was wrapped snuggly around his waist. He then began to straighten his already perfect hair.

Kendall couldn't help but to stare wide eyed at James' perfectly shaped body.

He's had a crush on the other for two years now.

Hell who was he kidding? It was just a crush, he was head over heals in love with him.

He let his eyes scan James's perfectly toned abs, and chest muscles.

"I thought you had to use the bathroom, but if you want to stare at my amazing body then you can continue to do so," James said with a wink.

Kendall automatically tore is eyes away, and blushed deeply.

"N-no...that's not it. I really do have to go to the bathroom…but I can't go with you in here."

"Fine, but hurry up before my hair completely dries!" James mumbled as he walked out of the bathroom.

Kendall quickly drained his bladder, and groaned in relief.

After washing his hands he starred at himself in the mirror.

"What the hell is wrong with you, he's your best friend."

He whispered quietly to himself.

He knew the feelings he had were wrong, and not to mention the fact that James was straight.

There was just something about his burnette band mate that drove him insane.

Kendall sighed once again and excited the bathroom.

James was sprawled out on the bed with a black wife beater, and a pair of boxers on.

Kendall gulped, and tried his best not to look at the other.

"I-I'm done." He stuttered out as he made his way over to their bedroom door.

"Kendall?" Kendall froze in place as he felt James's hand capture his wrist.

"Y-yeah?"

"Can I ask a favor..?"

Kendall noticed that James voice was laced with something different than earlier.

It sounded somewhat..anxious, and nervous.

"S-sure what is i-it?"

He mentally slapped himself for not being able to talk normal.

"Can I kiss you?" James asked so quite that Kendall barely heard him.

Electric shocks found there way to his spine, and his breath got stuck in his throat.

Kiss? James wanted to kiss him?

"W-what?"

Kendall blinked a couple of times and turned around to face James.

James looked down at the ground letting his hair fall in his face.

James had always been so confident, and Kendall just couldn't make sense of it.

He looked back up at the blonde and sighed.

"It's just I know that your gay, and I just want to see what it feels like. I don't want to expirement with anyone else" James admitted as his face turned a dark shade of pink.

Kendall took a couple deep breaths and walked closer to James.

When their faces were only inches apart Kendall stared into the others eyes.

"Are you sure about this?"

James could feel the tension in the air, but he had never been so sure about anything in his life.

He didnt want to admit it, but he had also been in love with Kendall for several years now.

He just didn't have the courage.

He didnt want to ruin their friendship, but he just couldn't resist anymore.

"Kiss me." He repeated with more courage this time.

Kendall slowly locked eyes with him and gave a hesitated nod.

Kendall had been waiting for this for months, but he was nervous.

He felt like he could fall to the ground at any second.

He closed his eyes and slowly closed the gap in between their lips.

Both boys eyes shot wide open as their skin began to feel like it was on fire.

Kendall closed his eyes and began moving his lips in a catchy sync with James's full, plump lips.

The room was dead silent except for the noises escaping from the two.

Kendall's heart fell like it was about to jump out of his chest, as James slowly slid his tongue against his bottom lip.

He took no time in hesitating, and parted his lips for the brunette.

Their tongues started moving furiously in a fun battle of dominance.

James pulled Kendall closer making him gasp, and giving James the chance to slide his tongue around exploring the blonde's wet, warm cavern.

It all felt so right, and so pure.

A feeling that neither had ever felt, and that neither wanted to end.

Unfortanetly the two had to pull apart to regain their loss of oxygen.

Neither of them could help smiling like an idiot.

That had been the best kiss of both of their lives.

"Wow.."

James blinked a couple of times and looked up at Kendall.

The blonde gave him a small smile. "T-that was amazing."

His cheeks turned red and he looked down at the ground.

He knew that it probably didnt mean the same to James, or did it?

Did he feel the same things as Kendall had felt?

"K-kendall, I like you..alot."

Kendall's eyes grew wide as he looked up at the other.

"Y-you d-do?"

James nodded and laced his fingers together with Kendall's.

"I was just afraid to ruin our friendship, but after that I dont think I have to worry anymore."

Kendall chuckled a little and pulled James into a tight hug.

"Jamie, I could never hate you."

James smiled at the nick name and wrapped his arms around Kendall hugging him back.

"Kendoll?"

Kendall blushed at the nickname but looked up at James.

"Yes?"

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

Kendalls face lit up and he jumped up and down like a little teenage girl.

"Yes! *kiss* Yes! *kiss* Yes! *kiss*"

James chuckled and pulled Kendall back into a hug.

"Should we tell Logan and Carlos?"

Kendall shook his head and let out a sigh of content.

"I want it to be just us for tonight, we'll tell them tomorrow."

James nodded and pulled Kendall over to his bed.

The two layed down beside each other, and James stretched out his arm.

"I want you to sleep with me tonight." James whispered quietly.

Kendall just nodded his head and nuzzled further down onto James's chest.

The room stayed silent for awhile, but it was a comfortable silence. Both boys wanted to stay like this forever.

"Kendall?" James whispered trying not to be to loud.

"Hmm?"

He pulled Kendall's chin up so he could look him in the eyes.

"I love you Kendall."

Before Kendall had time to respond James crushed their lips together in a sweet gentle kiss.

They began moving their lips in sync together and then Kendall pulled away.

He rested his forehead against James's and smiled.

"I love you to Jamey. Nothing will ever change that."

James smiled and closed his eyes letting the sleep take over.

After a few minutes of scanning over James's features Kendall also closed his eyes, falling asleep with a smile spread across his lips.

**A/n: Well there's chapter one! I hope everyone enjoyed! I'm sorry if there's a lot of grammar mistakes. My grammer and spell check isn't working right! Review, review, review! Please!**

**-Mandy(:**


	2. Fortune cookies

Kendall's POV

I felt the warm sun shining on my cheeks.

I groaned and pulled my covers up trying to block it.

When I couldn't get the covers to move I opened my eyes to see a sleeping James beside me.

A smile formed on my lips as I remember all the things that had happened the previous night.

James is my boyfriend now, and he loves me.

The thought created butterflies in my stomach.

I looked up at his face.

He looked so peaceful and perfect.

It amazed me how his hair was still perfect even after sleeping all night.

My eyes gazed down to his perfect plump lips.

They looked so delicious that I just couldn't resist.

I propped up on my elbows and kissed him.

I didn't realize he had woken up until I felt his lips form into a smile.

"Good morning to you too." He whispered in a husky sleep laced voice.

"Sleep well?" I asked as I drew shapes on his chest.

"Yeah I did what about you?"

I chuckled quietly and looked back up at him.

"Better than I ever have."

I gasped a little as he wrapped his arms around me tightly and captured my lips with his.

I quickly responded and let my lips move along with his.

I'm not sure what happened exactly, but he ended up hovering over me, and the kiss had become more intimate.

Our lips were moving at a fast sloppy pace, and our tongues were furiously dancing together.

"Hey guys. What the hell?" I pushed James off me, and blushed a deep red color as Carlos walked through the door.

"Haven't your heard of knocking?" James asked a little too harshly.

"Well how the hell was I supposed to know that my two best friends would be in their bedroom making out?"

Logan walked in to the room also.

"What's going on in here?"

"James and Kendall were making out, and I walked in on them."

Logan just smiled like he knew it was going to happen eventually.

"So you two are together?"

James and I both nodded and waited for their reaction.

"You owe me ten bucks." Logan said proudly, looking at Carlos.

"Yeah, yeah I know." He grabbed his wallet with a sigh and handed Logan the money.

"You guys made a bet about us?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, it's pretty obvious you've been drooling over James ever since you came out, and I knew James would give in eventually."

"So that means your both okay with this?" James asked and the other two both nodded their heads.

"We're fine with it. That doesn't mean I want to see the same scene every morning." Carlos said trying his best to keep a serious face.

"No more making out in OUR room. Got it." James said sarcastically.

I laughed and lay back in the bed, and then a thought popped in my head.

"How are we going to tell my mom and Katie?"

"Your mom and Katie know that you're gay, so why should you be worried about that?" James asked looking at me.

"Yeah, but if we're together my mom may not let you stay here."

"This is Mama Knight we're talking about here; she's pretty much a teenager herself" Logan reminded me.

I nodded and smiled.

Logan was right my mom had always been the cool one.

That's why they decided to move in with me.

Carlos's parents are weirder than he is, Logan's parents are somewhere in Africa, and James's mom is just a bitch.

I think that woman could scare kids more than Quella DeVil could ever dream about.

"Let's go get some food I'm starving." Carlos complained, and Logan quickly agreed.

After getting dressed James and I joined them outside.

We ended up eating at a Chinese restaurant.

"OH! Fortune cookies!" Carlos squealed like a little girl, and opened his.

We all looked at him as he read his fortune out loud.

"You will soon be blessed with the best gift of your life. It will bring you joy, tears, pain, love, but overall happiness."

"How can the best gift of your life bring you pain? That doesn't sound like too good of a gift." James commented.

"The best things in life don't come easy." Logan reminded him.

Carlos didn't say anything; he was too busy stuffing his face with the cookie.

"You are about to get the biggest surprise of your life, don't worry it's not necessarily a bad thing." Logan read out loud as he opened his.

I pushed mine to the side. "Someone else can have mine."

"Why you don't want to know your fortune?" Logan asked as he passed his cookie over to Carlos, who happily gulped it down.

"Not really, it's just a bunch of superstitious stuff." I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Oh come on baby, It's just for fun open it."

"Open it open it!" Carlos cheered and I shook my head and sighed.

"Fine, I'll open it." I tore the plastic off, and broke the cookie open.

"Be careful with what you have, because you never know when you may lose it." I lazily read out loud.

"These things are common sense; I mean really I think I already know to be careful with the things I own."

"It may have a deeper meaning than that." Logan noted.

Logan always put too much thought into things.

I just shook my head and sighed. "I don't care I don't believe in them."

The only good thing about the fortune was for memory of being with James.

When no one else was looking I folded the paper up and stuck it in my wallet.

"What does yours say?" Carlos asked James.

I looked over at him waiting for his response.

"Mine says, Remember to not give up when things aren't in your favor."

I took another drink of my sweet tea and chuckled.

"James you better listen to the magic cookie or you might get some spell casted on you."

He just laughed and pushed at my arm.

"Shut up."

His phone started ringing so he excused himself.

"I have to go to the bathroom." Carlos whined as he took off running for the bathroom.

I watched as Logan's eyes followed him until he could no longer be seen.

"What's going on there?"

He snapped his head back around blushing like crazy.

"O-oh...its n-nothing….I was just making sure he didn't t-trip"

I raised an eye brow and eyed him suspiciously.

"Logan you only stutter when you're lying. You know you can tell me anything."

He began fiddling with his fingers nervously and took a deep breath.

"Kendall, I think I'm falling for Carlos."

Right as the words came out of his mouth I seen a very shocked Carlos standing behind him.

"Y-you what? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Carlos just listen to me." He reached out to grab his shoulder, which Carlos quickly pushed away.

"Get away from me you freak!"

With that said Carlos took off running and Logan followed behind.

I sighed and rested my face in my hands.

Logan likes Carlos?

How long has this been going on?

"Earth to Kendall."

I jumped a little as James voice drifted into my ear.

"Where did Carlos and Logan go?"

"Well Logan told me he liked Carlos, thinking that Carlos was still in the bathroom, but he wasn't and heard him. He called him a freak, took off and then Logan chased after him."

He matted his eye brows in confusion.

"Wow…"

"Yeah tell me about it."

I chuckled softly and motioned to his phone.

"Who was it?"

"My mom." He sighed and he looked over at me.

"Oh, what did she want?"

"She's coming to visit next weekend."

I nodded my head and turned my body to face his.

"You don't sound too excited about that."

He rolled his eyes and let out a big sigh.

"Kendoll you know how my mom is. I love her and all but I'm never excited to see her."

I couldn't help but to feel bad for him.

His mom treated him so horrible.

She hardly ever calls or comes to visit, and when she does she always finds something to gripe at James about.

I grabbed his hands, lacing our fingers together, and using my thumb to caress his skin comfortingly.

"Are you going to tell her about us?"

"No." He grumbled without hesitation.

I should have known that would be his response.

It didn't seem right to hide it from her though.

I didn't argue I just nodded my head, and sighed.

"We should probably go home now."

He nodded his head, not saying another word.

A/N: ta-da! It's boring I know. Just wanted to throw the whole fortune cookie thing and Cargan in there. So, the next chapter will be in either Logan's or Carlos's POV I'm not for sure who's yet.

Reviews? Pretty please?


	3. Forever isn't long enough

Logan's POV

I ran after Carlos until I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore.

"Carlos, p-please st-stop." I panted out harshly, falling to my knees.

"W-why should I?" He snapped.

I could hear the tears in his voice.

"I'm sorry okay, I didn't mean for you to hear that."

He turned around to face me and my heart about broke into a million pieces.

He was no longer the happy over hyper boy.

He was paler than usual and his face was streaked with his tears.

I stood up walking closer to him.

"Does it matter if you meant for me to hear it? You still feel that way. No matter if I heard it or not."

I looked down at the ground and kicked the dirt around.

"Carlos, I don't want to ruin our friendship this way. I understand you don't feel the same way, but your my best friend…I don't want to lose that."

I heard a quiet scoff escape his lips and I looked up to meet his gaze.

"That's thing Logan, I do feel the same…I just can't do it…I don't want to be…gay."

More tears spilled down his cheeks as he looked up at me.

"I've liked you for a very long time now. But it makes me sick to think about it…It's not normal!"

He yelled more to himself than he did to me.

I pulled him into a tight hug, ignoring his protest.

"Carlos, It's okay we don't have to be together for now. I can wait to your ready. Just promise me something?"

He buried his face in my chest as he continued crying.

We just stood there in the middle of the park, completely silent, and hugging each other close.

"What do you want me to promise?" He asked after he calmed down, but still refused to let go of me.

"Promise that when you're ready, I'll be the first person you come too."

I felt his lips form a smile against my chest.

"Logan, you will always be the one I come to."

A big smile appeared on my face, as I rested my chin on his forehead.

"So were still friends."

"Of course…to be as nerdy as you are. You don't have a lot of common sense." He joked.

I didn't even argue back. I was too happy that he was still there with me.

Kendall's POV

(Sorry I had nowhere else to go with cargan at the moment keke)

"James stop we're going to get caught." I giggled and tried pushing him away again.

He just continued to place small kisses all over my neck.

I can't really remember how we got to this. But honestly I just don't care.

We were both shirtless, sprawled out on the couch, and he was hovering over me.

"I want to stay here with you like this forever."

I tangled my fingers into his hair and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

The kiss started off slowly but gradually gained speed and force.

He licked my bottom lip and I gladly parted them giving him the entrance he demanded.

Our tongues began dancing together as we started our journey exploring each other's warm cavern.

I felt all the heat from his body travel to mine.

He pressed his hips down and kneaded them against mine, causing us both to groan at the delicious friction.

As the kiss grew hotter, his hips moved faster.

My fingers were tugging at his hair, my body was shaking, and my throat was letting out desperate moans.

"J-Jamie!" I whined as I felt all the blood rushing to my lower region, leaving behind a tightening feeling in the pit of my stomach.

His hands traveled down to my waist band, ripping the button and zipper open.

"What if we get ca-AHH!"

I hissed and snapped my head back on to the arm of the couch, as his large hand wrapped around my throbbing erection, squeezing it tightly.

Let's just say the thought of getting caught was no longer on my mind.

He moved his hand up and down my length, jerking slightly.

My breath sped up, along with my heartbeat.

"Does it feel good baby?" I heard him say is the sexiest voice I had ever heard.

It made my stomach turn flips.

"Mhm...D-don't s-stop." I whimpered out, rolling my hips further in to his hands.

He did what I asked and kept pumping his head at a steady pace.

He occasionally used his thumb to dig in to my slit, sending all new feelings of pleasure.

I thought kissing him was to die for, but this...this was so much better.

I felt like every inch of my body was on fire.

"A-ahh! S-shit J-James" I became a shaking, moaning mess underneath him.

"Come on baby, cum for me."

My vision got blurry as my stomach began to tighten.

I moaned out his name as my release came, and landed on his hand and my stomach.

I lied there breathing harshly, not really sure if I could move.

He leaned down surprising me with a deep, hard kiss.

Our tongues automatically found one another.

Teeth were clashing, noses were bumping, and sounds were being emitted.

It was honestly the best kiss of my life.

I began to feel dizzy and closed my eyes tighter.

I pulled away from the kiss trying to catch my breath as he did the same.

I looked up into his eyes playing with his hair.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He smiled and leaned down kissing my forehead.

"Jamie forever is a long time." I said reminding him of our previous conversation.

He stared into my eyes deeply, and spoke in a serious tone.

"Kendall forever isn't long enough to be with you. I wouldn't want to spend forever with anyone else."

I smiled and kissed his sweet lips once again.

"Anything else you want to tell me?" I asked curiously.

He nodded and whispered. "Fix your pants before someone comes in."

I slapped his chest playfully as he started laughing and buttoned my pants back.

A/N: I'll post more cargan later…I don't want them to get together just yet. I'm sorry about the mirror smut, if it ruined your innocence. (I'm actually not. Smut is sexy as hell. And I plan to write A LOT more ;))

For the ones that have read the other version. This story plot is similar but it's not exactly the same. James's mom won't make him leave. But there will be A LOT of drama.

Reviews? Pretty please?


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